I think about my future an inordinate amount of time. Right now, I don't see anything worthwhile ahead for me. I'm really only here for Grendel, right now. My future is dead; has been for a while now. I was supposed to meet a old friend today. But as usual, I fucked that up. Went to the wrong Starbucks at the right time. The saddest scene for me, in WHERE I AM is when Colm Toibin looks off, into the distance of memory, and says, "Oh yes, he was something." Was. It kills me, but I think the part that hurts the most is, he's right.
a blog that is also meant to serve as a recovery journal, for this gay, Quaker, writer dealing with t.b.i., from surviving a hate crime in Sligo, Ireland, on 1.31.99.