I’m so depressed over my lack of self-governance that I’ve quit trying. I haven’t written in years; my depression just keeps sinking me lower and lower. I managed to go to Meeting yesterday. I forced myself to, because to do otherwise would make me feel even more worthless. I’ve been so lonely, for so long; and all my efforts to combat it, seem to fall miserably. I have more assets than ever before, but my life is less my own than ever before, too. My therapy cat, Jamie, was a really good investment because, she NEEDS me. They were about to put her down because she kept getting returned to shelter. Neil helped me sort out her bathroom issues, and she’s grand, now. Knowing that I’m probably her last chance, let’s us need each other, sharply.
a blog that is also meant to serve as a recovery journal, for this gay, Quaker, writer dealing with t.b.i., from surviving a hate crime in Sligo, Ireland, on 1.31.99.