Rob-world

This was written 5/13, but remained un-published until 6/8:   What’s really behind me, & what’s and what’s really ahead for me? The answer is:  everything, and NOT MUCH.  I see no worthwhile future for me.  Jamie needs me.  That’s why I’m alive. I let the real threat of rain keep me from Meeting today, which further depresses me.  Things are NOT good.  I don’t write anymore, but I think that’s a side effect of my anti-depressants. I’m miserable, and really don’t see things getting better. But, on the bright side, I’m too much of a coward, to ever kill myself. If misery loves company, why am I so alone?

… too depressed.  My life is so empty.  Few friends, NO passion, increasingly, no career.  I always thought the symmetry of checking out on your birthday was appealing; mine is coming up.  My every argument against suicide is based on it’s having a negative/deleterious affect on others’ lives.  Even here, I can’t put myself 1st. As our President would say:  sad.