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Showing posts from June 2, 2019

I NEED TO VENT

So, if you don’t like to read that kind of self-involved, morose crap, move along.  There’s nothing else to see here.  if you do, Christmas came early.  I’m as depressed as I’ve ever been, primarily over my abject failure to devise a life worth living, post-t.b.i.   Jaime gave my life purpose.  Without her, it’s emptiness and my misery is only heightened.  I haven’t felt like writing in , literally, years.  Right now, my guess is I never will again.  I don’t feel like I’m worth loving and I feel I have no love to give.  My family all seems so horribly self-absorbed.  I question the motivation and caliber of my life, of every decision since 1/31/99.  Starting with my decision to come back.  It all seems, now, like nothing but a giant act of selfishness.