Rob-world

Every night it's the same thing: loneliness, the tedium of living a life of dry, dead, hopes, ideals, and dreams.I don't write anymore; I made a huge mistake in creating the trust in not preserving a shred of my autonomy. I'm SO outta here the second Grendel dies. We can be buried together. I'm dreading my upcoming trip to L.A. w/Mr. Codora. My life is such a failure. it .... I... used to have such promise. Drake out.

Maybe it’s that I worked out with Brenden today, then had a couple beers tonight. Maybe it’s the fact I’m lonely as all get out. Maybe both.

went to Meeting; & I must keep remembering, I asked for the porn embargo on my Mac; I was/am worried that my avid use of porn is diluting or hampering my need or desire for personal sexual/intimate relationships. So I blocked those sites when setting up Sierra. By the way, my killer fear of intimacy is still omni-present; even or especially when there’s no reason to be. I’m SO fucked, & not in a good way. Oyyyyy…..