Rob-world

In hopes of going to Meeting tomorrow.  I’m SO depressed.   It’s not specific to my T.B.I.  Just general schadenfrode at my life these days. I nave NO control even over little things in my life.  Case in point:  my Keurig died.  Butch got me a Mr. Coffee because it was cheaper but also, harder for a person with t.b.i. to use.  Yes, I asked Butch for a Keurig, which I’ve used successfully for 3 years now.  He thought a cheaper one, in hopes, I guess, of  pleasing Gil & Peter.  Such is my life.  Yeah, an Apple watch would benefit me cognitively, but Butch has me  afraid to ask for one, though, as I think of it, Peter and Gil have been more than fine lately whenever I needed something, recently a bigger time machine, to go with the bigger hard drive Bundy’s installed last time  my Mac was  in the shop. I think I need to remind Butch, I’m  his boss, not Gil &Peter. M.F.W. tomorrow; I’m all shaved, but  I’m  SO  fucking tired. 

I just finished watching  MATT SHEPERD IS  A FRIEND OF MINE.  Sobbed in parts; grooved on the footage of him his family shared.  Is  it wrong that I find him almost impossibly hot?    My type, lately, has been younger, shorter, slighter than me.  Smart.  From what I saw in the film, that was Matt. Oy.  He also seemed to be a really stand up guy.  He was also HIV+ , which really isn't  that surprising, considering he was gang raped in Saudi Arabia.   He died 10/12, 1998, after  being assaulted 10/6/98.  I was gay bashed 1/31/199. Near  enough in time; what was in the air, then?

& no, I’m  not just regurgitating all the pop psychology crap I imbibed in the 1980s.  I’m  stating one  of the few truisims I know:  you control every detail of how you react to what happens in your life.  You can’t  control all the stuff that happens to you; but how you react:    that’s all you. My own life bears this out.

Is banging in my ears right now; has been, much of the day.  LOVE IT.