Rob-world

I don’t know WHY it’s just hitting me today but 1/31 was the 20th anniversary of my gay-bashing.  Twenty fuckin’ years.  Twenty years, since I walked jauntily around my environs and enjoyed life the way a man should.  Twenty years since I eeked out a living as writer, living mostly off  of Scott’s money, though I  told myself it was off my living as a writer. I used his resources  while I despicably went around with another behind his back.  Many times, I’ve wondered if I  didn’t DESERVE the beating Ian and Glen gave me for the way I treated Scott like a heart-sick ATM.

I’ve talked before about how I stepped back from running my life , to focus solely on my recovery until I felt greater success in my capabilities, at which point I would re-assume greater participation in my money and it’s investment/use.  I believe that time is now. Will I screw up the casual handling of my money?    Maybe.  Hell, probably.  At which time, I would hope my Trust would nudge me back toward fiscal sensibility.  And then, let me try again.   Repeat if necessary.  This how therapy goes, and that’s what this ultimately, is.practical cognitive therapy.   Same crap; slightly edited: I’ve talked before about how I stepped back from running my life , to focus solely on my recovery until I felt greater success in my capabilities, at which point I would re-assume greater participation in my money and it’s investment/use. I believe that time is now. Will I screw up the casual handling of my money?  Maybe.  Hell, probably. At which time, I would hope my Trust would nudge me ba...