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I'm in danger of being a one-note Johnny, But here goes:  I think about suicide 24x7, 365 days a year. I'm just not happy, and  sooooo lonely.  I don't write anymore, for lot's of reasons.  I won't kill myself before Grendel and my Father  die.   I don't have many friends here.   I never have any money; in great part because of my iTunes addiction, but also because I never have any idea of how  much is in my account.   I don't need to be the "big spender from the East" but I'd like to be able to pay my own way.  It's just not right, that I don't.  And  treat, occasionally.

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