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Why am I so reticent, now?

I think it’s just habit. I’m afraid of asserting myself. Far’s I can tell, it all goes back to when I was so much less capable than I am now, or am becoming. Don’t get me wrong: I remain obscenely grateful for the sacrifices Gil and Ed, particularly, have made and continue to make for me, especially in terms of my $. I have no trust issues; but I need/want to know how much I have, where it is, and how I access it, or portions thereof.
How much are Butch, Peter ,Gil, and Judy paid and how/when?
May I please have a copy of my portfolio, to peruse and consider? I have other expenses, like acupuncture, vitamins/supplements, and therapeutic massage, along with 2, count ‘em, two , physical trainers; how much is all that? Who’s in charge of doling out the raises? Who sets the payment scale, initially, and how is it maintained? What is it? Knowing and asking questions like this, and more, is a key part of my ongoing t.b.i. rehab; I HOPE no one takes offense, but realizes that.

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