He’s gone from assisting in my recovery , to being its hindrance. He does, & has been doing things for me, instead of with me.
That’s just no good. I have to be allowed to fail, repeatedly if need be, to learn from my mistakes. Butch, bless his heart, sees it as his job, to keep me from failing. Only, it’s not; in fact, it’s the opposite. He has to give me enough rope, to hang myself, then, when I inevitably do, cut me down in time to keep me from dying. Then, repeat. I’m still making my way back from 1/31/99. I still have cognitive difficulties I’m trying to overcome.
Probably will for the rest of my G-d life. Ian & Glen did a real # on me. Often, I worry I’m just NOT strong enough to keep recovering, and having to fight to fulfill what I deem as basic, cognitive recovery skills, is demoralizing at best. Peter, Butch, & Gil don’t really KNOW me well enough, now, to know what they are; often, even I don’t, until they present themselves.
Which is why, when they occur to me, I need to feel I may discuss openly and honestly, Without fear of repercussion, and the anticipation of their quick fulfillment, once discussed and deemed legitimate.
That’s just no good. I have to be allowed to fail, repeatedly if need be, to learn from my mistakes. Butch, bless his heart, sees it as his job, to keep me from failing. Only, it’s not; in fact, it’s the opposite. He has to give me enough rope, to hang myself, then, when I inevitably do, cut me down in time to keep me from dying. Then, repeat. I’m still making my way back from 1/31/99. I still have cognitive difficulties I’m trying to overcome.
Probably will for the rest of my G-d life. Ian & Glen did a real # on me. Often, I worry I’m just NOT strong enough to keep recovering, and having to fight to fulfill what I deem as basic, cognitive recovery skills, is demoralizing at best. Peter, Butch, & Gil don’t really KNOW me well enough, now, to know what they are; often, even I don’t, until they present themselves.
Which is why, when they occur to me, I need to feel I may discuss openly and honestly, Without fear of repercussion, and the anticipation of their quick fulfillment, once discussed and deemed legitimate.
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