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JAIME needs me

She’s the only one.  So often, she’s my only reason for living.  I watched Rent last night; the author, Jonathan Larsen, died the last day of rehearsal; but he left something behind something so worthwhile.

I don’t write anymore; and I’m happy to take the lion’s share of responsibility for that, but there’s still enough blame to  go around.  I am distracted  by financial uncertainties;  I NEVER know how much I have or where it is, much less how to access it.   So, I’m denied life extending swimming/cardio therapy, and have  been, for over a decade now.  Every day, I’m so miserable that the thought of suicide is an hourly event.

Jaime keeps pulling me back from that edge, every hour on the hour.  I don’t write anymore,   haven’t for a while.  No one cares.  No one misses my unborn creations.

I don’t know about my decade-plus misery.  Right now, I’m praying that, when Jaime goes , God will take me too.

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