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I'm thinking of suicide all the time now

Effie, pathetically is the only reason I’m there.  I’m really to just end it all.   I’m so fucking tired of fighting my Trustees for a little help making my Apple Card part of my life.  Don’t they realize I'm so fucking tired of only getting resistance and pessimism From when what I NEED. Is success, support, and guidance

Effie neds me and that's the only reason I don’t off myself.  Really.  All my energy goes into fighting the trust for helpful continually advancing care.  Tomorrow I’ll hopefully  pray again for the convincement to kill myself.

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I'm sooooooo effing tired.

Arguing for my independence with my trust lords  has gotten really old, really fast.  See, I’m like a poor man’s Brittany Spears:  all my money is in a  special needs trust, dispensed as need be by my Trustees:  Gil Roth and Peter Johnson.  Gil, I’ve been friends  with since St. John’s.  Peter does this for a living, & cuts me a world of always legal and ethical slack. More tomorrow.  Nighty-night.