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I missed Quaker Meeting again today

Not because I was too tired,   But because I didn’t want to go.  And I had a fun St. Paddy’s Day. Lunch with Marylu planned for after.  But, I was so fucking down,
 I really do suffer from near constant depression.  It inhibits every aspect of my life.  Jaime, my love and responsibility for her, keeps me from pulling a header.  But, that’s why I got her.
Seriously, that’s all.   But, that’s why I haven’t written anything publishable in months/years.  Right now,  I have no life, outside this apt. A few crumbs here and there, but nothing substantial.
Makes sense, really.  No input, no output.
I’m desperately waiting for medical marijuana here; my memories of pot, is it acting like a giant lint brush to my mind, clearing out all the crap.
My life is so hemmed in. By my lack of mobility, and the abject poverty I still keep myself in.  What. the fuck am I SAVING MY MONEY FOR?

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